Hold on to Love Page 23

  She’d been walking on air for the past two weeks, and when she’d woken up that morning and realized that in a little over twelve hours she’d be seeing Sean again, her heart had started doing a wild dance routine inside her chest, and was still doing it now.

  She’d had a silly smile plastered on her face all day; her colleagues had noticed and questioned her, but she’d simply shrugged, saying she was in a good mood because it was Halloween. She’d never really cared about Halloween before and neither did she now, but she reckoned it would be a good excuse that wouldn’t lead to any more questioning.

  The sliding doors opened and closed a few times with lots of people coming out, dragging trolleys and big suitcases, or smaller duffel bags and messenger bags, but no sign of the Maclaines.

  By nine thirty-five she was a bundle of nerves; by nine forty-five she’d almost lost hope. When the doors opened at nine fifty and she scanned the crowd of people walking out, her heart skipped a beat, or maybe two—or a million.

  He wasn’t in his usual cowboy attire, but she wouldn’t fail to recognize him in a crowd. In a black lightly-padded jacket and a woolen cap, he looked just as handsome as he had in a checkered shirt and a cowboy hat. Tammy was all bundled up in a colorful woolen beret and matching scarf, with a nice dark-pink coat that made her stand out from the crowd of blacks and grays.

  Alyssa smiled broadly when her stare met Sean’s. The light worry frown on his face eased and turned into a beautiful smile, the smile she’d been dreaming of every single night since she’d left Wind Creek.

  As soon as Tammy saw her, she dropped her trolley and ran to her side. Sean shook his head and picked it up, following her at a slower pace. When they hugged, Alyssa realized how much she’d truly missed Tammy; she was over the moon because Sean was here, but it wouldn’t be the same without Tammy. She was sure they were going to have a blast together.

  “Welcome to New York,” Alyssa said, almost breathless as Tammy squeezed her in a deathly hug. “Hey, I love your coat. It’s so you.”

  Tammy laughed and pulled back. “I know, right? It was so cold when we left Wind Creek this morning I thought I should’ve taken my parka instead. But this perfectly matches my Prada bag,” she said, showing her the bag that had started the war between Alyssa and Sean.

  “She doesn’t go anywhere without that bag.” Sean stepped right behind Tammy and Alyssa’s heart got caught in a whirl, almost clogging her throat.

  Tammy rolled her eyes and punched her brother, saying something Alyssa didn’t quite catch. All of a sudden the whole airport disappeared; the crowd of people passing by them were nothing but dark shadows, their voices nothing but distant sounds blowing in the wind. She was caught in a bubble where only she and Sean existed. His eyes bore into hers and told her without words how much he’d missed her, how happy he was to see her again, and how much he wanted to kiss her. It was exactly the same way she was feeling.

  “Hi, um… welcome to New York,” she said when she realized they were both waiting for her to say something. Her voice trembled a little and she swallowed hard.

  She’d talked about it with Sean the night before, and they’d both agreed they’d have to play it cool in front of Tammy. He’d promised he’d steal a kiss whenever his sister wasn’t looking, but when she was around they’d have to keep up the act. She’d agreed, of course, but she hadn’t thought it would be so hard.

  They’d spent the last few weeks chatting every night on Skype, acting as if there weren’t two thousand miles between them. They laughed, joked and told each other how much they loved the other. Acting like strangers when all she wanted to do was get lost in his arms was going to be the toughest challenge she’d ever faced.

  Tammy giggled, and nudged her with her elbow. “I think you should give him a big, welcoming hug.”

  Alyssa’s face flushed red-hot, and Tammy giggled harder. If Sean so much as brushed her hand, she’d probably melt in a puddle on the floor—hugging wasn’t a good idea.

  “There’s no need to keep pretending. I know you two have something going on; I saw you kissing the night before you left Wind Creek.”

  Both Alyssa and Sean whipped their heads toward Tammy, and stared at her wide-eyed. She shrugged.

  “Why do you think I organized this whole trip? Sean’s been grumpy ever since you left; I needed my brother back, so I thought a weekend with you would give him some peace of mind. It doesn’t hurt that I was dying to see New York.”

  Alyssa laughed, a genuine laugh that made her heart feel lighter. They’d underestimated Tammy’s eagle eye and smart brains.

  “You’ve got some explaining to do here, young lady.” Sean scowled, with his fists on his hips.

  “A simple ‘thank you, Tammy’ would’ve been enough,” she said with a shrug. Sean’s big brother attitude softened, and Alyssa saw he was fighting a smile. “How about I go buy candies in that shop over there, while you two… um… get reacquainted?”

  Sean glared at her and she gave him a cheeky smile in return, then turned on her heels and quickly walked away. As soon as she was out of earshot, Alyssa looked at him and got lost in his eyes.

  “I guess our plan of playing cool has just failed.” Sean took a step closer to her and reached for her hands.

  When their fingers interlocked, he pulled her close to him and her body tingled all over from the familiar heat.

  “I think I should be mad at her for lying to our parents and setting up this whole masquerade, but somehow I can’t bring myself to.”

  “We should be grateful to her, not mad,” Alyssa said in a soft tone. Sean nodded, and brought their joined hands up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles.

  “Do you think it would be okay if I kissed you right here, with all these people walking past us?” he asked, his warm breath on her hands giving her goose bumps.

  “What people?” she asked with a half-smile. “I don’t see anyone but you right now.”

  His face lit up, and a second later his lips were on hers, rough and warm, just the way she remembered them.

  It felt as if time hadn’t passed, as if she’d only just walked out of the barn in the middle of the night, hugging and kissing him and laughing at something silly he’d just said. It was as if they’d never been apart, as if time had stopped the moment she’d closed the door of the Pine room, dragging her suitcase behind her with a heavy heart. That must be what loving someone meant.

  Tammy cleared her throat a few feet away from them, and Sean immediately pulled back. Alyssa had never seen him look so embarrassed and out of his element before; he was actually kind of cute, in a way.

  “I know you could probably spend hours acting like two lovebirds, but it’s been a long day and I’d really love to crash now. Can we go?”

  Alyssa laughed and nodded, wrapping her arm around Tammy’s shoulder.

  “Since your brother isn’t probably going to say it, I’ll do it for both of us. Thank you for organizing this little subterfuge for us. I owe you big time.”

  Tammy smiled. “Well, it’s not totally selfless, you know. I did it for Sean but I also did it for me; I mean, it’s my birthday after all.”

  “And I promise it’ll be a birthday you’ll never forget.”

  “I count on it. I promised my mom I’d do the dishes for a month, so it’d better be worth it.”

  Sean came up beside them and handed Tammy her trolley. “Don’t think you’re off the hook, though. We’ll have to talk about your tricking me into this.”

  Tammy rolled her eyes, and as they all walked toward the taxi rank, Alyssa couldn’t help but feel lightheaded at the thought that for the next forty-eight hours Sean would be within arm’s reach.

  Chapter 36

  When the taxi stopped and they hopped out, after arguing over who would pay, Sean almost felt sick at the sight of the hotel. Why had she booked them in such a posh hotel they wouldn’t be able to afford? He had asked her to look around for something cheap and suitable for them; she knew too well he
didn’t feel at ease around rich people, and now he was standing on the sidewalk like a stupid countryman amongst upper-class people who would look down on him and totally spoil his weekend.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  He turned back to look at her and, even though he noticed how excited Tammy was, he knew there was no way they’d stay there, no matter how much his sister liked the place.

  “Aww, Alyssa, this is so amazing. Are we really going to stay here?”

  “No, we’re not,” he cut in, before Alyssa could reply. Tammy stared at him with a frown and something resembling a pout. She could pout all she wanted; he wasn’t going to spend the night in that place.

  “Of course you are,” Alyssa said, as if she hadn’t heard him at all. “I’ve booked a very nice room on the fifteenth floor, I’m sure you’ll like it. Come on, let’s go inside.”

  She linked her arm through Tammy’s and made for the door, but they both stopped when they heard Sean talking from the spot he had been standing in since they had gotten out of the taxi.

  “You know we can’t afford to stay here. I’d asked you to look for something cheap. I would’ve looked myself had I known you’d end up booking something like this. We simply can’t stay.”

  “Please, Sean, it’s your sister’s birthday. You can’t sleep in a cheap inn somewhere in the suburbs. Besides, it’s close to where I live and they know me, so I got a good rate for your room. After what she did for you, for us, the least you could do is stop being grumpy and enjoy your vacation!”

  Alyssa winked at Tammy who smiled at her, and they both turned to look at him with expectant expression on their faces. When he didn’t move or say a word, Alyssa shrugged and turned around toward the big glass door.

  “Well, suit yourself, then. We’re going in. You can sleep out here on the pavement!”

  When they disappeared inside the luxurious hall, Sean sighed and shook his head, then he grabbed the suitcase and went inside, sure he would regret it.

  When Alyssa had told Tammy that the hotel staff knew her, Sean hadn’t imagined it was because she had actually lived there. As soon as they’d reached the reception, the man in a tailored dark uniform had smiled at her and chatted with her as if he’d known her for years.

  When Tammy had asked Alyssa for an explanation while they were in the elevator, she had simply shrugged and said she had lived there for a couple of months while she was waiting for her apartment to be renovated.

  “You mean you lived in a hotel?”

  She nodded, as if it were the most normal thing, something everyone did.

  “The apartment my grandmother left me was in such a poor state after the last tenants left, that the renovators told me it would take at least two months to make it inhabitable again.” She shrugged and scrunched up her nose. “I didn’t want to live two months under my mother’s roof, not after experiencing life on my own at college. So when a colleague recommended this place, I jumped at the chance and booked my stay. They have studio apartments for rent. It was a very enjoyable experience; I didn’t have to cook or clean, and I could have dinner in bed while watching TV without anyone telling me I couldn’t.”

  For the sake of peace, Sean hid the shock on his face behind a fake smile. He didn’t want to start fighting with her again because of her lifestyle.

  When they opened the door to the room, Tammy let out a scream and ran inside, looking around as if she was living a dream. If nothing else, at least he could try and endure it for his sister. It was her birthday and she’d organized this trip for him; she deserved a little happiness.

  When Alyssa saw Tammy’s reaction, she laughed and stepped in behind her. Sean followed, and when he closed the door behind him, he looked around, feeling totally out of place.

  Why had she done that? What had gotten into her mind, when she knew just too well how uneasy it would make him feel?

  “Holy cow, have you seen the size of the bathroom?” Tammy squealed from behind the door on his right. “This is as big as my room. And the towels are so fluffy!”

  Alyssa laughed and reached for Sean’s hand, linking her fingers through his. The soft touch of her skin was familiar and reassuring, but he couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it, not while that nagging feeling in the back of his head kept hammering.

  He didn’t belong here. He’d never fit in. He’d never be part of her world.

  They could never be.

  And there it was. The end of the fairy tale, just like he’d expected.

  He’d convinced himself she was different, that she was the person he’d met at the ranch, but this was the person she really was; she grew up in this world, and this was what was normal to her. He felt like a fish out of water, but she was totally in her element: sophisticated and beautiful, rich and smart. He could never fit in here; he’d never look anything but out of place next to her.

  And just like that, his hopes shattered and his mood plummeted.

  Alyssa had noticed the sudden shift in Sean’s attitude when they’d reached the hotel, but she’d been expecting it. This trip wasn’t about him, though; before Tammy had told them the truth, this trip had been Tammy’s birthday celebration, and Alyssa had wanted to do something nice for her.

  The frown on his face when Alyssa had admitted to living in the hotel for a while had given her a hint as to his state of mind, but she’d decided to overlook it and avoid another useless fight.

  Now that Tammy was in the bathroom and they were finally alone, she’d taken his hand, hoping to steal another kiss and a hug, but he’d stiffened and remained rooted in place. She knew this didn’t bode well.

  “Sean, please don’t spoil it all,” she said, tugging playfully on his hand. He didn’t budge and the expression on his face was still hard and guarded. He stared at the floor and didn’t meet her eyes.

  She inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to start fighting with you, I don’t want to waste precious time again, like we did when I was in Wind Creek. Can’t you simply accept this as a birthday gift for your sister and enjoy your stay?”

  His head whipped up and he stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Simply that you don’t have to worry about not being able to afford this place because it’s already been taken care of. So just stop being so grumpy and worrying, will you? You’re much more handsome when you smile.”

  She brought their joined hands to the small of her back, hoping he’d take the hint and finally hug her, but he didn’t move. She looked him in the eye. His jaw twitched and his eyebrows were furrowed.

  “I can’t let you pay for this. It’s too much. I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

  “No you won’t, you pigheaded man,” she teased him, punching him. “This is my gift for Tammy and please, for once in my life, let me do something to spoil someone I love. I’ve always hated my family’s money. It’s always been the main source of trouble and unhappiness for me. Now I can use it to make someone happy, and here you come and try to spoil all the enjoyment.”

  “Alyssa, you don’t understand—”

  “Yes, I do.” She put her finger on his mouth to shush him. “You are an old-fashioned man and you don’t want a woman to pay for you, as it probably makes you feel like a gigolo.”

  She chuckled and kissed his lips, just a quick peck before she went on, whispering in his ear.

  “You’re gonna have to pay me back, yes, but only by kissing me a lot, hugging me a lot and cuddling me a lot. And when I say ‘a lot’ I mean a lot!” She emphasized the last two words and it somehow persuaded him, as he finally pulled her close and wrapped her in his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head.

  “I’m not old-fashioned,” he grumbled. She giggled, knowing he had finally relented.

  “Of course you’re not. That’s why I love you.”

  He pulled back slightly and glared at her, with a smile curling his lips. “And you’re a stubborn, spoiled city girl, and that’s why I love you.” />
  She pouted and stuck out her tongue at him. He laughed, then took her face in his hands and kissed her, putting an end to the argument and marking the real start of their vacation.

  “Can I come out now? Are you two dressed?” Tammy asked, her head peeping through the cracked bathroom door.

  “Tammy!” Sean yelled. She giggled, stepping into the room with a big grin on her face and her hands in her pockets, playing the part of the innocent girl.

  “If you need to be left alone for a while, I can spend some time at the spa or in the swimming pool and you can have the room to yourselves…” She stopped mid-sentence when her brother glared at her, and she raised her palms up in front of her. “Hey, it was just an idea!”

  Alyssa laughed and stepped toward her, wrapping her in a hug. She knew now that not only could she not live without Sean anymore, but she also couldn’t imagine not having Tammy around.

  “Well, I guess I’d better let you get some rest now. It’s going to be a busy day tomorrow, so you’d better be in top shape,” Alyssa said, patting Tammy’s shoulder. “I’ll take you on a tour of the city, and I have tickets for the matinee show of The Lion King. And,” she turned to look at Sean, smiling, “yes, it is all very expensive and yes, I’ve paid for everything and no, you can’t start arguing now because women always have to have the last word.”

  Sean sighed and shook his head. Tammy laughed, hugged Alyssa one last time and rushed into the bathroom again, carrying her duffel bag with her.

  Once the door to the bathroom closed, Sean closed the distance between him and Alyssa, his eyes fixed on hers.

  “You’re going to give me a hard time this weekend, aren’t you?” His voice was almost a growl. Shivers raced down her spine as he brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. “I’ve missed you too much and I don’t want to fight with you, so I’ll let this one go. You win, City Girl.”

  “See? You’re not always pigheaded, after all.”

  He laughed and his lips hovered over hers, teasing her until she couldn’t take it anymore and kissed him.