Hold on to Love Read online

  “Is there anything you’d like to do? Maybe you want me to drive you into town? I don’t know if you’ll find anything interesting there, but if you want I can—”

  “It’s okay,” she cut him off again, shrugging. “There’s no need for you to leave what you’re doing to look after me. If it’s okay with you, I’ll just hover while you carry out your work. I promise I won’t interfere, I’ll simply watch. This way you can be sure I won’t get myself into trouble again.”

  He scrutinized her face, trying to read her expression and find some sort of catch. She seemed genuine and not at all bothered by what had happened though, so he let himself relax. He honestly wasn’t looking forward to having her around while he was working, but there was nothing else he could do. He was alone there, and he couldn’t simply tell her to get lost and leave him alone. He had to be nice to her and hope his parents would be home soon, or that she’d get bored and go back to her room.

  “All right, then. I still have a few things to do in the stables; if you get bored, just say it and I’ll find something for you to do.”

  He thought he saw a flash of annoyance cross her face, but it was so quick he wondered whether he’d imagined it.

  She nodded and followed him to the stables, where he told her he’d have to check on a pregnant cow. Her face lit up.

  “I know which one you’re talking about; she’s actually my favorite. I was with your father the other day and she ate directly from my hand. It was weird but hilarious, too!”

  Her enthusiasm over a cow caught him off-guard. He expected her to be this excited about some expensive bag or clothes, but right now she sounded as excited as a schoolgirl on a field trip. He couldn’t help getting a little infected by her zeal.

  “I’ve come back to see her a couple of times, and she was always really cute. She seemed to love cuddles. She’s due any day now, isn’t she?”

  His face relaxed into an amused expression for a moment, but he still thought it safe to keep the mask of serious and professional host in place.

  “That’s why we have to check on her a lot these days. You never know when it might happen,” he said, returning to his professional tone.

  She nodded and walked beside him as he entered the stables.

  He’d let the other cows out to graze in the field earlier in the morning, so he immediately spotted Rosie in an isolated corner. As soon as he saw her, he knew something was wrong. He walked toward her, the guest’s steps crunching on the hay and gravel on the ground as she followed right behind him. His stride took on a sense of urgency, and when he reached Rosie, he put on his rubber gloves and knelt down beside her.

  Alyssa brushed Rosie’s snout, cooing at her gently but he didn’t have time to think how cute her gesture was when he realized what was happening, and his brow broke into a cold sweat.

  Chapter 16

  Sean cursed and stood up, slamming his rubber gloves hard on the floor. Alyssa gave a start, and instinctively took a step back.

  “What’s wrong?” she dared to ask, hoping it wasn’t something she’d said or done.

  “Rosie’s ready to deliver and my parents will be gone all day. Even if I called them now they wouldn’t be back in time and I just can’t do this alone.”

  He removed his cowboy hat and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. A second later, he started pacing nervously back and forth, scratching the back of his neck as if he wanted to peel the skin off. It was weird to see him like this, totally out of control.

  “You’ve never done it before?” she asked, immediately regretting her surprised tone which would probably upset him even more. She braced herself for his reaction but instead he hung his head and shook it in resignation.

  “I’ve seen my father doing it a hundred times, but all I did was assist him. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

  “I’m sure you’ll know what to do once you start. I can try to help, if you want.”

  He stopped pacing and looked at her with a smirk on his face.

  “Help? Ha! Wouldn’t you ruin your manicure?”

  The way he cocked his left eyebrow and his ironic tone made blood rush straight to her head. Her cheeks flushed; she had never wanted to slap someone so much as she did now, not even Julian back in court.

  “You know, if you don’t want people to treat you like a stupid countryman, maybe you should stop acting like one!”

  This guy always managed to make her lose her mind. He seemed to bring out the most irrational and instinctive part of her—it scared her more than it annoyed her. She’d always considered herself a good-mannered girl who knew how to behave at dinners amongst upper-class people, but ever since she came here she’d become a different person—somebody she didn’t know and was afraid of.

  He shrugged, totally unfazed by her words. “I thought you said you were a lawyer: what would you know about it? How could you possibly help? I didn’t know lawyers in New York had cows in their backyards.”

  “You’re just a stupid, childish, pigheaded man with a smaller brain than that of a country rat,” she spat out, unable and unwilling to control herself any longer. She’d had enough of his harshness. She’d done nothing to deserve it. “I’ve grown so tired of your stupid prejudices. I don’t know what’s so wrong with me, apart from belonging to a wealthy family. I didn’t ask for it, and I’m sorry if it bothers you, but that’s the way it is.”

  She turned around, meaning to leave, but she realized that if she did it would be just like admitting he was right, and that she was only a posh city girl who didn’t want to ruin her designer clothes and manicure. She turned back and glared at him.

  “I wish I could just walk out and leave you to it, but I’m sorry for Rosie and I want to do something to help, even if it only means fetching a bucket of water or bringing some more hay.”

  She folded her arms across her chest and shot him a look of defiance, as if to challenge him to say one more nasty word to her now. If only one of them could play the part of the adult then she knew she’d have to be it.

  Sean was surprised, almost shocked by her words and he stood speechless for a moment, wondering if he had been wrong about her all along. He’d thought that once he had offered her the chance to leave and go back to her room she would just turn around and quickly walk away. But apparently the thought of helping a cow deliver didn’t seem to scare her at all; as a matter of fact, she had taken offense when he’d told her she couldn’t help. Maybe it was time he gave her the benefit of the doubt for once; it wasn’t as if he had much choice anyway. It was either he accepted her help or he had to do it all by himself. In spite of his reticence, he knew he needed someone to assist him if he didn’t want to lose both Rosie and the calf.

  “I guess I’ll have to make do, then. Let’s see what you can do, City Girl.”

  She clenched her fists, and he was sure she was dying to punch him. The murderous expression on her face amused him, and he had to admit it looked kind of hot on her.

  He blinked the thought away as soon as it formed. He wasn’t going there, especially not now.

  She took a steadying breath and rolled her shoulders back, pretending she hadn’t caught the irony in his statement. Score one for City Girl; she was playing the adult between the two of them now. He would’ve laughed at it had he not been so tense about all this.

  Sean moved aside when she stomped back toward him, and stifled a chuckle behind a fake cough. A pained bellow from Rosie brought him back to the task he was supposed to be taking care of, and he inhaled deeply, as his stomach twisted.

  “Run inside the house and grab the cordless phone off the kitchen counter. I need to call my dad and get some instructions, before it’s too late.”

  Alyssa nodded and ran out without arguing. He could’ve gone himself, but he didn’t want to leave Rosie alone, not even for the couple of minutes it would’ve taken him to go get the phone.

  When she returned, she was breathless from the run, and when she handed him the phone he
gave her a genuine smile for the first time since she’d arrived.

  He called his father, trying to hide the desperation in his tone—he’d grown up on a ranch, after all, he couldn’t show his father or their guest that he was close to a panic attack.

  After his father explained in detail what he should do, Sean hung up and tossed the phone somewhere behind him.

  “Ready?” he asked Alyssa, even though he was asking it more to himself. When Alyssa nodded he reached for a pair of gloves on the high shelf next to him and tossed them to her. “You’ll need these when it starts getting bloody.”

  Alyssa took them and smiled uncertainly at him. He thought this would be the moment she’d run, but she put the gloves on and took a step closer to him instead.

  “Okay, where do we start?” she asked, making him wonder whether she was the most confident of the two now.

  They worked closely for what seemed like hours, and they didn’t argue once. Just like she had told him, once he got started he knew exactly what to do and she did everything he told her to, trusting him completely. He was amazed at the way she cooperated and never questioned his expertise; he’d been sure that as soon as things got rough, she’d look disgusted and run away at the sight of blood, but when he pulled the calf out she squealed with happiness and her face cracked into a huge smile.

  Adrenaline was still pumping in his veins as he finished cleaning up the mess on the floor, and for a moment he forgot she was even there. He’d brought a calf into the world, all on his own; even though he’d seen it so many times before, this time it was different. It felt amazing.

  When he turned back and saw her sitting on the floor hugging her knees, he froze. Her clothes were stained with dirt and blood, most of her hair had escaped the ponytail and was sticking to her cheeks, and her face… her face was a mixture of sweat, dirt and tears. She was crying like a baby, and it totally took him by surprise. At first he thought she had gotten hurt, or maybe she was crying because she’d stained her expensive clothes, but then he realized they were actually tears of joy, something he would have never expected. Could he have been mistaken about her?

  Looking at her, totally defenseless on the floor, trying unsuccessfully to stifle the sobs, he thought he might have misjudged her pretty badly; she was way more sensitive than he had given her credit for. He felt uneasy and didn’t know what to do or say, so he stood still for a minute. Then the calf stood up and took a clumsy step toward her. She smiled, brushing its snout lightly with her hand, and his heart suddenly melted. All those stupid prejudices he’d had about her disappeared into thin air.

  He stepped toward her and crouched down, careful not to get too close in case she felt intimidated by him. When he handed her a clean handkerchief she looked up, sniffling.

  “Are you all right?” he asked, his tone softer than it had ever been.

  She nodded, then she took the handkerchief and thanked him. She wiped her eyes and cheeks and blew her nose, taking a deep breath to pull herself together.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I got a little emotional,” she whispered, putting on a weak smile. She didn’t look at him, though, and Sean knew she was probably scared of what he was thinking of her right now.

  “I should be the one apologizing.” He sat on the floor next to her but still leaving a bit of space between them. “I honestly thought you’d run out of the barn and back to New York, but I was wrong.”

  “Sorry I’ve failed your expectations,” she said seriously, combing her hair with her fingers and pulling it back into a ponytail again. “Does this mean you’ll stop hating me now?”

  “I don’t hate you,” he said defensively. He had to find a polite way to say it, so that she wouldn’t take offense. He’d said enough awful things to her and he was ashamed of how wrong he had been.

  “It’s just that… I don’t really like rich people, you know? The way they think they’re better than everyone else just because they can afford to buy expensive things, and I thought…”

  “I was like all of them.” She finished his sentence when he hesitated and he nodded guiltily. “Do you still think that way, now?”

  Her smile was kind and honest, which made him feel even more ashamed of his stupid behavior and prejudices. It was high time he stopped acting like a thick countryman.

  “After what you did, the way you helped me and everything, I guess I’d really be a stupid countryman if I still did.”

  Her smile broadened.

  “Truce?” She stretched her hand out and waited for him to take it.

  He nodded, took her hand and squeezed it gently. Her silky skin was soft against his rough hand, and he was almost afraid she’d pull back. Once again, he was wrong.

  “I’d say an end to war would be more appropriate.” He gave her goofy smile, and she laughed. “I think you’d better go get changed now; those stains won’t be easy to remove once they dry.”

  She shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but he was sure those clothes had cost a fortune; it would be a pity if they got ruined, although she probably had tons back at home anyway.

  Sean stood up, and reached out for her to help her to her feet, but he was once again surprised when she jumped up in one swift movement, brushing her hands on her expensive jeans.

  Yeah, he’d been wrong all right.

  “You sure you don’t need me to help cleaning up?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. He shook his head.

  “I’m fine. Go take a shower; I’m sure you’re dying to have one.”

  She gave him a guilty smile. “I don’t mind getting my hands dirty but, well… this is a little too much for my first time.”

  Sean laughed, and as she turned around and walked back, he couldn’t help following her with his stare until she was out of sight. Man, what a morning.

  As the water going down the drain finally turned clear, Alyssa took a moment to replay the whole experience in her mind.

  Adrenaline had rushed through her veins as Sean had pulled the calf into the world. The pride and joy she’d felt as soon as the calf had opened its eyes and looked at her was indescribable; she’d never in her life experienced such a deep, strong feeling of happiness. She’d waited all her life to feel like that but studying law, winning a cause or going to parties had never caused her such strong emotions.

  She was happy and proud of herself. If any of her friends knew what she had just done they’d think she had gone crazy, but to her it had been the best experience of her life.

  After they’d brought the calf into the world and Sean had told her he’d take care of Rosie, she’d slumped on the floor, totally careless that her Armani jeans would probably never get clean. As tears streamed down her cheeks, she hadn’t cared what Sean would say once he saw her in that state.

  She was at ease, at peace with herself and with the whole universe. She had just realized that what she’d always dreamed of was actually what she should have been doing all along. She should have followed her heart, she should have listened to her grandmother, and she should have never given up on her dreams. She had finally found her place in the world, and it felt so good she thought she was never going to stop crying.

  When she met Sean for lunch an hour later, she immediately felt the shift in his attitude, and her heart warmed up a little. They didn’t talk much; she knew it would still take a little time for them to get used to the new situation, but when she asked him about Rosie and the calf his face lit up, and she finally caught a glimpse of the Sean Maclaine she’d met when she’d arrived at the ranch and who’d disappeared behind a grumpy and rough cowboy after the Prada bag incident.

  “You can name him, if you’d like,” he said, taking a bite of his steak. Alyssa’s eyes widened, and he let out a chortle, a sound Alyssa wasn’t used to hearing.

  “Really?” she asked, excitement oozing from her. He nodded, with a sweet smile. She brought a finger to her lips, scrunching up her face in concentration. Then she smiled as soon as the right name popped into her mind. “Lucky. I
think we should call him Lucky.”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, because he’s lucky we didn’t screw up.”

  She giggled. “No, because he was lucky I was there to help you or you would’ve screwed up, all right.”

  Sean laughed, a hearty, low rumble that caused something to twist inside her, although she couldn’t pinpoint the feeling.

  “Fair enough; I kinda deserve that, don’t I?” He gulped down the water in his glass, and stood up. “Then Lucky it is.”

  She stood up after him and offered to help with the dishes, but he waved her away so she left him alone, thinking that pushing her luck any further would be risky. They’d had their first civil conversation; she didn’t want to annoy him and bring back the grumpy cowboy.

  She went back to her room, took out her book and spent the rest of the afternoon on the back porch reading it until Sean’s parents came back from their trip.

  After sharing that amazing experience, things started to get better; even Sean’s family noticed that something had changed between them. Tammy was, as usual, the first to point it out while they were all having dinner together that night. After Sean told them how Alyssa had helped him, and she told them how stubborn he’d been, they ended up laughing about it.

  When she went out the following morning and offered to help him, Sean smiled and handed her the brush so that she could help him brushing the horses’ manes. Only two days before, he would have shrugged and mumbled something like, “I don’t need help,” and she would have had to walk away and find something else to do to keep herself busy.

  He started to talk a lot, which was something she wasn’t expecting at all. She’d always thought he was a grumpy and sort of introverted kind of person, but he turned out to be the exact opposite. He obviously knew lots of things about animals, crops and everything concerning his business, but he also told her things about the town and its surroundings, and she listened in awe as if what he was telling her were the most interesting stories she had ever heard.